Complicated Love
by Goldilocks4
Summary: Clexa, Octavia/Lincoln/Raven. Clarke is in a happy relationship with Lexa. Raven is in love with Octavia but is too scare to tell her so she hides her feelings behind booze and sleep in around. Follow their lives, Ups and Downs. ght. Break up. Romance and much more
1. Chapter 1

**& &&Sorry for all the mistakes, English is not my firs language and I couldn't find any beta. Hope you enjoy**

They were all sitting at the bar having drinks. Octavia is all over Lincoln and you can see Raven throwing dagger at them. She finishes the rest of her drink before she stands up.

"Hey... Where you going? " Clarke asks. She looks at Octavia and Lincoln who was too busy kissing to realize the situation.

"I... Just going to the bathroom "she says drunkenly and leaves before Clarke could say something.

Next morning...

"Good morning, Blondie" Octavia walks to the kitchen.

"Sleep well? " she smirks and the brunettes grins.

"Hell yea! The thing he was-"

"Shut up! I don't need to hear the details! " Clarke groans and they laughed.

"What's for breakfast and where's Raven? " Octavia asks as she read the newspaper.

"I don't know, I haven't seen her since last night" the brunette raises her head.

"I thought she was with us at the club!? " she retorts. Clarke sighs.

"She was. The last time I saw was when she went to the bathroom, then-" they were interrupted by a stranger's voice.

"You might wanna check on your friend"the girl says before she walks out the door. Clarke remains calm but not Octavia. The brunette was mad, angry and... Jealous? She stands up and make her way the the bedroom.

"HEY!... GET THE FUCK UP! " She take off the sheet from Raven's half naked body.

"What is... Going on? " she groans tiredly.

"O, I don't think this is the right time to cause drama" Clarke informs.

"What's going? How could you bring one of your hoes into our house?" She hisses. At this, Raven sits up and rubs her eyes.

"What?" She answers confusedly.

"Ok, i'm leaving because i really don't want to be in the middle of this! " Clarke says coldly before she walks out .

"You were too drunk to remember! "

"Hey! Can you lower your danm voice now?! " Raven says coldly this time.

"What I do or bring up here is not of your business! " she sneers.

"Yes it is if we all live under the same danm roof! "Octavia retorts.

"Oh as if you tell us when you bring your boyfriend up here to fuck! "

"You going back on that again! Lincoln is my lover, not you. I have the right to bring him here as much as I want." She starts yelling and gets closer to Raven.

"Unlike you, I have someone real in my life! Maybe you should do the same instead of being miserable by screwing around" she finishes coldly, fixing her in the eyes. Raven didn't know if she was supposed to yell or cry so she remains silence until Octavia walks out her bedroom. Clarke is sitting in the living room texting Lexa.

"We have a situation here. Meet me at the park" she presses send.

Lexa:"Alright, I'll be there in 10"

Clarke: ight


	2. I lost her

**Octavia's POV**

I drag her up the stairs to the condo and bang on the door. I look at her state; I was angry. Clarke opens the door and frowns.

"What the hell happened? " she asks tiredly, rubbing her eyes.

"Sorry if I woke you up. I had to go pick up this one down the street and she was fighting with some dudes! " I hiss as I put Raven down on her bed with the help op Clarke.

"I don't know what's going on with you too but you need to fix it before she do something! " she says and I scoff as I change in my pj.

"I'm not the one to blame here! She's the one who goes out every night to get drunk and sleep around! " I sneer. She crosses her arms over her chest.

"Oh yeah? And why do you think she's doing that ,O! She loves you but you don't seems to care about that! " she sneers softly. I stop what I was doing and look at myself in the mirror for a second. Thinking about what she just said.

"I know... And I'm sorry for her but I don't feel the same. Why you guys can't understand that! " I lie. I do love Raven, more than Lincoln and yes I know I said she was just a friend. But I'm scared because I know somehow I will end up getting hurt.

"If something happens, it's on you! " she says calmy.

"Goodnight" she adds and walks out my room. I let out a groan.

 **Next morning**...

"Oh thank God, there's coffee! " Raven walks into the kitchen. She grabs a cup and full it with coffee.

"Sleep well? " Clarke asks. I avoid looking at Raven as I continue to read the newspaper.

"Yea... Had... A long night, you know" she mumbles against the cup. I scoff.

"O, don't start! " Clarke warns.

"Whatever" I mumble. Raven sits in front of me and removes the newspaper from my hands. I glare at her.

"What's your problem? " I ask coldly and she frowns.

"Nothing... I just wanted to talk" she says and I chuckle bitterly.

"About what? The fact that I had to drag your fucking ass out of the street again because you were about to fight with a gang member? Oh please, if so, talk! " I hiss.

"This is really not the good way to talk, O! You'll just create another fight" Clarke hisses.

"If you gonna be on her side about her behavior , it's your choice! But I won't !" I retort.

"So what now you have a problem with my behavior? You the one who've been acting like a bitch to me for the last 5 months! " Raven says coldly.

"Yea! Why do you think? You go out every fucking nights to get drunk and sleep around! Now last night you almost got into a fight with someone. You don't even spend time with us anymore! " I yell getting up from my chair.

"You're jealous about what I do in my free time, I could care less! And i spend time with the gang. I just don't want to spend it with you! " she yells back and there was a moment of silence. I feel the tears. She swallows hard and try to grab my hand but I push it away.

"Octavia , you need to-" Clarke starts to say but I interrupt her.

"OK... I get it now" I grab my coat and bag.

"That's not what I m-"Raven says but I raise my hand.

"Save it!...I'm going to be late for work, see you later Clarke" I run out the condo. As soon as I was in my BMW, I started to cry, hitting the wheel.

 **At work...**

"Hey babe" Lincoln try to give me a kiss but I move my face so he ended up kissing my cheek. He frowns.

"You're OK? What's wrong? "He asks calmly a we sit down at my desk. I reach my hand in my hair and sigh.

"Nothing... I'm just tired. I had a long night again"I mumble and he clenched his jaw.

"Is this have something to do with Raven's drunken ass again!?"I bit my lip.

"When are you gonna stop torturing yourself for her, O! " he hisses softly. I glare at him.

"I'm not!... She's just not in a good state at the moment! " I defend. I don't even know why I'm defending her after what she told me this morning.

"Right! Because she prefers to get drunk every fucking night instead of caring about the people around her! She might be my little sister but she need to wake up! "He says coldly.

"I don't want to lose you to her" he adds softly. I stand up and get closer to him. I grab his face and fix him in the eyes.

"You won't. I love you and what's going on with her it's her problems ,I know. But she needs us. " he looks away. Clearly he wasn't happy about that. I smile softly before I kiss his on the lips.

"That's not fair" he groans when I start to kiss down his neck.

"Oh yea, how come? " I bite his neck. He grabs and turn me around putting me down on my desk. Thank God now one was here yet.

"You wanna play that game? OK, let's play" he grins.

 **Lunch time...**

"Someone was having sex in here" Lexa smirks and I glare playfully at her.

"Look who's talking" she raises her hands.

"Busted... Are you done with the files? " she asks. I sigh and shake my head.

"I didn't have time to finish it last night because-"

"Yea, I know... Clarke told me what happened" she says softly.

"Argh ...I don't know what to do anymore, Lex! " I groan.

"Start by telling her the truth about how you feel about her... Then we'll see what happened" she says and I chuckle softly.

"No, I think I'll pass on that one. I won't destroy my relationship from someone loyal to someone who's not. "I explain as I type down my computer.

"I get that I really do but everyone deserve a second chance"

"Oh believe me, I did gave her more than a chance. Even if we were never a thing, she hurted me many times. "I say.

"Indeed. Well I can force you to make a move or something but you two need to sit down and have a serious conversation. With no fight! " she warns at the end. I roll my eyes.

"Yes, mom" she laughs.

"Speaking of mom, Clarke's mom is coming to town tomorrow and we thought about having a diner at the house for her birthday. What do you think? " I nod.

"Yes, great idea! Why not! " I smile.

"Cool, I talk to Clarke about this" she walks out my office. I sigh before I collapse my body against my chair.

Next day...

 **Raven's POV**

I close the door of the bathroom and walk to the sink. I look at myself in the mirror before I throw water on my face. I pull out the little bag that I was hidding in the wall behind the toilet sit. I sniff two lines before I close my eyes for a second. I jump when I hear a knock on the door.

"Raven, you're almost done? I need to use the bathroom! " Any a yells. I roll my eyes and open the door. I grab her and close the door before someone else can get in. She laughs.

"Oh no, you didn't just do a line right here! " she grabs the bags out of my bra.

"I needed some before I face my dad tonight, who, let me remind you is coming for Clarke's mom birthday" she chuckles before she sniffs two lines too.

"Yeah, well that shit is strong as hell ,danm! Where did you get that? "She asks as she washes her face. I put the bag back in his place.

"Doesn't matter" I shrug my shoulders. She stops and turns to look at me.

"What did you do now? " she asks carefully. I groan as I reach my hand in my hair.

"I hooked up with a girl last night. I didn't know she was the girl of a gang member. I stole it from her and when her man asked where is drug was, she freaked out so I jumped in. Almost got beat up" I explain.

"Are fucking crazy! You could have get hurt! " she hisses hitting me on the arm.

"Well, I didn't! I got back inside the club and got drunk. I could barely walk so I asked the bartender to call Octavia" I mumble at the end. She sides her eyes.

"Jesus Christ! You're more insane than I thought. You better not get yourself hurt" she sneers before she opens the door and walks one. I sigh. Fuck!

 **A few hours later...**

"There you are! I was asking Clarke about you"

"Hi, miss. Griffins" I say, avoiding her eyes. I know that if I look at her in the eyes she'll see that something is off.

"What's new? I heard that you got a new position " I nod a smile as I grab a piece of lasagna.

"Yes... I'm so happy, I was waiting for that months ago! " I say happily and she smiles.

"Well, I'm glad that you're happy now" I force a smile at that. If only you knew.

"Oh, Raven sweetie! " I roll my eyes before I turn to face my mom. She grabs my cheek and kisses me.

"Hey, dad" I mumble.

"Look at you, still the same, nothing change " he smiles widely even tho I know it was a fake one.

"Yes, dad always...you didn't come with mom? " I ask and he stops smiling before he let go of me.

"No... Not this time" he walks away before I can say something. I frown confusedly but let t go when I see Clarke walking toward me. She hands me a glass. I take a sip.

I roll my eyes and she smirks.

"Yup, go easy on the alcohol tonight. It's my mom birthday and I don't want someone to cause a scene" she warns and I scoff before I start to look around the room. There was a lot of people here but it wasn't important for me. What was important was to find Octavia.

"If you looking for her she's in the living room with the rest of the gang" she says. I nod.

"Oh... Alright" I mumble. She grabs my hand as we make our way to the living room.

"Hey, Raven...come sit" Any a says with a big smile on her face. OK, she's acting weird right now. I know for a fact she's high and probably up to something. I sit beside her as I look at Octavia who did nothing but leaving her attention on Lincoln.

"So I saw your dad tonight " Lexa blurts out. I shrug my shoulders and Lincoln stops being focused on Octavia and turns his head to us.

"Where did you see him? " he ask rapidly and I chuckle.

"Why? You want to give him a lecture about me again" he glares at me.

"Should I? I mean, I'm sure he will be happy to hear that his own daughter is nothing but a whore! " he hisses. I was expecting O to say something like she always do but she didn't. Ouch!

"Woah, Lincoln! Easy! No need to start a fight now, please! " Clarke plead.

"No, it's OK, Clarke! I'm use to it" I smirk and he clenched his fists. You see, my brother and I never got along because he blamed a lot of stupid things.

"Okkk... Let's have some shots then" Bellamy changes the subject. All night, we were throwing looks at each other. No talking, just staring at each other. I was confused about that. It was getting late and people were starting to leave. I get up and walk drunkenly to my room. I start to undress when I hear my door open. I didn't turn around because I know who it was.

"Hey" I turn around topeless and she looks away blushing.

"Why you blushing? Nothing you haven't seen before" I wink as I grab another shirt to put on.

"We need to talk" she says softly. I nod before I sit down on my bed. Even if I'm drunk, I still can have a conversation.

"OK, well first let me say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, I shouldn't have say what I said early. You know I didn't mean it, I was just angry. I know I've been acting selfish lately and I apologize for that...it's just... I can't stand to see you with him, it hurts too much. I love you, O, you know that right" I say as get closer to her. I grab her hand but she moves away. I sigh sadly.

"W... We can't... I mean I can't do that. It's not fair to Lincoln, to me and a you! And yes I'm sorry too but I can't give you what you need"I grab her hands again.

"He doesn't need to know! We can keep this one as our little secret" I bent down and kiss her. And she kisses me back, moaning. She grabs me by the neck as she runs her tongue against mine before she pulls away. I press my forehead against hers. I see her tear running down her cheek. I from and pull back softly.

"Why you crying? We just share a kiss" I chuckle softly.

"I'm moving out" she whispers. I laugh nervously.

"W... What? "I ask softly.

"I'm moving out with Lincoln and... " she shows me her finger and I gasp. "I'm getting married"

"Wow... Oh, wow! " this time it was a bitter laugh.

"You got me on this one" I spit. She approaches me but I step back.

"I didn't say yes to hurt you or anything like that. I love you but I also love Lincoln ."she says softly. I try to hold back my tears but I couldn't. I grab my coat and my bike's keys.

"RAVEN! RAVEN! WHERE YOU GOING? " She screams as I run past the people who was still at the condo. I walk out the door and jump on my bike.

 **Next Clarke/Lexa POVS... Tell me what you think. I need to know if should continue or not? ;)**

 *****Mistakes are mine, sorry about that. If a beta is available let me know!**


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